This summary is dictated to Siri. It is the first time ever in the history of Half Men Half Biscuits this has happened. It is done in English for two reasons. Firstly, because English is a far superior language to Danish. Secondly, because dictation to Siri works so much better in English. But why is it dictated and not written? A sensible question to ask you might think. It is because today's writer has a sprained pointing finger which he acquired during the match when smashing that very finger against the crossbar. The incident happened in the final third of the second half.
For the fourth time we met FC Pastis and for the first time we won. It was a convincing victory and it was accomplished with a hard-boiled and high energetic fight. The victory was founded in an efficient first half in which we scored all our three goals. Before scoring any goal though, Half Men's substitute keeper, Claudius Larson, made a fatal mistake. He caught the ball after a throw in, which unknown to his knowledge, is an illegal act. A freekick just two meters from the goal line was correctly given to the opposite side. All the purple players was lined up along that very goal line. The human wall denied Pastis the lead and the score was still 0-0. According to our LiveFeed conducted by Kristian H. Nielsen who also functioned as a world-class sideline manager we scored the first goal in the 11th minute of the game by a cooperation between Tommy Bigom, who assisted Tomas Rasmussen. Tomas showed what his right foot can achieve when he put his mind to it - a hard precise kick past the opponent keeper who was left without a chance. Half Men's concentration and dedication held throughout the first half and the following goal was just as beautiful as the first one. This time Tommy Bigom was the one to push the ball the last few centimetres across Pastis goal line. The Viking, Nikolai Winther, did set up the goal for Tommy to score. This happened in the 23rd minute. Not more than five minutes later the Purple scored their third and final goal. Tommy Bigom was once again involved - this time he assisted a somewhat rare goalscorer in Morten Østergaard, who displayed how versatile a player he can be. The situation at half-time was a potent three goals lead.
In the break it was among the Half Men foreseen that our blue adversary would come on to the pitch full speed playing high-pressure soccer. Their mindset would be similar to revenge as they before the game was situated as number two in the league while we was placed in the latter half. The prediction was quite accurate as this was the way they commenced the second half. Pastis probably had the ball in like 75% of the time throughout this half but they was denied a diminution of the gap, at least until the 49th minute of the game. To be honest they were the dominant part at this stage and only by heroic behaviour in especially our defence, we kept the three-goal lead. As time went by the energy of the Blues diminished. Then the blunder occurred, which was wisely exploited. Pastis saw the opportunity and scored to 1-3. Our opponent was yet again wakened and aroused like a predator tasting pray. The stakes were high and now we had this unique opportunity to show the world what we truly are made of. Every inch of the pitch was a battlefield. Mark Jaqué scored the fourth goal but it was denied by the referee as he called for foul play by Mark - quite a harsh call. Just five minutes before full time, Nikolai Winther was given a yellow card (the first in his career) and was sent off the pitch for the remaining time of the game. One man down we still fought and gave everything we had. We triumphed and could add three precious points to our account.
All purple players went that extra mile to secure the win. Our captain Jens Andersen was calm and thoughtful in his play in all situations. Peter Due showed us a new side of his arsenal. He was unsurpassed by any player on the pitch - purple or blue that is - when it came to heading to the ball. Michael K. Jensen seems to have found his level from the two seasons in which he became Best Player of the year. Christian Mahrt interfered the buildup from Pastis oh so many times and had as well some personal quarrels with a few of the Blues. He can be tempered sometimes.